Your general success in life depends on your ability to handle other people with success. One of the most outstanding authorities in the area of handling people Dr. P. Parker indicates that successful handling of other people follows the same principles whether it is in the workplace, in your family or in social circles.
Start by knowing yourself
If you are going to successfully deal with other people, the first thing is to discover yourself and know your own abilities. Otherwise, how do you expect to know others and eventually deal with them if you have no idea of who you are yourself? Knowing yourself allows you to control your own emotions instead of allowing your emotions to control you. By knowing yourself, you know the things that make you angry and the signs which indicate that you are getting annoyed. This allows you to control your own emotions.
Develop a habit of listening
When you allow your emotions to get out of control, you often handle those around you with words that are chosen quickly, decisions and gestures that emanate from the way you feel at that very moment. In order to handle people with success, you have to reverse this procedure. Practice throwing your feelings out of any situation you face and replacing them with logic. This involves listening, thinking and trying to understand the feelings of the other person. Only if you understand how the other person is feeling, will you be able to handle him. If you rely only on your own feelings, you will never understand what is going on in the other person’s mind.
Understand that others are not like you
The only thing in life that gives you a reflection of yourself is a mirror. The greatest mistake you can ever make is to think that everybody’s aspirations, fears, imaginations and points of view should reflect your own. Successfully handling people involves understanding that if someone has a different opinion, the sky will not come falling down; they just have a different opinion. When you are dealing with other people learn to make remarks that will have a direct bearing on the other person’s self-importance, emotional state, and feelings. You will start noticing that they agree with you quite easily.
Do not talk a lot in an argument
When someone wants to argue with you, let them do most of the talking. When they talk, they get themselves tired and would usually make a fool of themselves. Keep asking simple questions such as, “What makes you think like that?” Mostly when an angry person is pressed to provide logic, they are unable to do so and this exposes them for who they really are. If the other person is making unreasonable comments, ask them to repeat what they have just said. You will discover that they are not prepared to answer as they have spent all their energy making the argument.
Handling people with skill involves understanding yourself and being able to manage your own emotions. Remember to leave the other person to do the talking. All you do is to ask questions that expose the ridiculousness of their argument.